No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
