Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
