Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I looked at my own cervix.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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