The maid of honor just puked.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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