just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
