Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
