please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
