Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
