May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
