I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
