When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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