you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
