a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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