Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i came on her dog
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
