Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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