They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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