Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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