He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
