best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize
