I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
