tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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