How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
