this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
