he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
