I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
