Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
