dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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