about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
