I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
MIDGETS
????
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
