Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
