I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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