i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
