where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
wakey wakey hands off snakey
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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