Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
