I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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