arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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