If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
