no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Randomize