How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
