can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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