you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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