Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize