I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
