I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
