CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
