i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
