BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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