UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
