Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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