Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
