if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
